You sound upset
I tow a trailer all the time in the spring/summer/fall months. My hemi sounded normal. When you drove it it sounded just like every other hemi that I test drove, and also my brother's who happens to own a hemi, and a few friends who also own hemis. I'm very familiar with the "normal" hemi sound. When you replace that factory oil with RL, it quiets down. This is a fact, and it's not just something I noticed. Many users have reported this, and some have even video'd the evidence which is clearly noticeable.
I have hit 250 degrees while towing up a small hill in the summer. There are also way too many reports of temps getting past that on much large mountain climbs: 255, 260. If you're still using 0w-20 at those temps, well then you are nuts. No other way to put it. The hemis do not have a large enough oil cooler.
0w-20 is a fuel efficiency oil. 5w-30 is the oil you need when working it. And RL just happens to be the oil which kills the hemi tick and quiets the general valve train noise. Apparently facts are offensive these days, who knew.