Lets put it this way. You're out in the arctic and need to pull a sled on the snow behind you. You also have a knapsack that you strap to your shoulders.
I suspect you are simply looking at the trucks tow rating and saying "I can pull whatever I want", but you have to keep in mind that whatever you add to your knapsack is going to really stress you out. You need to balance everything so that you don't go overweight on your shoulders while trying to pull the sled behind you.
The cummins is like filling up your knapsack almost to the top; that engine is so heavy, that your truck simply does not have any room left to carry much in terms of cargo, pin weight from a 5w (which is extremely heavy as well), and passengers. The hemi is much lighter, leaving room in your knapsack for other cargo etc.
So the hemi is much lighter, you can stuff more in your truck because the weight from the cummins is gone; I'm not sure on specifics, but if it is 800 pounds heavier than the hemi, well that's 800 pounds you get back for cargo and/or weight of the trailer on the back of your truck if you pick the hemi.
But even if you have managed the weight of your knapsack and got that ironed out, you still need to worry about what you're trying to pull behind you on the sled, that has its own limits. Just because the truck is rated to pull > 15000 pounds, doesn't mean you're going to enjoy that experience. The more you tow, the further you go, the more you might wish you went with a more powerful engine.
As I said, that kind of weight is sort of on the edge of cummins territory, only you can ultimately decide if the hemi has enough power for your taste, but many would prefer the cummins at that point.
However, the cummins is too heavy for a 2500 trying to pull your trailer. Moving up to a 3500 is like going to the gym, building muscle, and buying a bigger knapsack. Now you have so much more room in that knapsack (3500) that the extra weight of the cummins is no longer a problem.
That is why you're getting recommendations for either:
2500/6.4
3500/cummins
Both of those trucks will probably give you enough room in the knapsack to carry everything; cargo in the truck, occupants, weight of the trailer on the back of your bed; but the cummins is much much stronger so pulling the load will be a much nicer experience.