Thanks all for the input. A lot to dissect.
Right now I'm leaning toward keeping it a year or so and re-evaluating then. I've already taken the biggest hit just by it being titled and not new.
I have activated the gear icon in the settings, and it seems some of what I'm feeling is the downshifting between gears (but not always, some times it is the regen braking). I think the gear downshifting sensation is programmed a bit more harshly in the etorque trucks. I am going to try to run it in the +/- mode all the time and see how it acts.
I activated the eco button as well, and now see that basically any time I am coasting.
For 2022 MY the Rams will have the new vastly superior UConnect with wireless Carplay and Android Auto (and presumably a dash more like the new Highlander or Explorer or Mazdas, for example), and there will be a completely new Tundra out. I've had my eye on the new Tundra for a while, and was hoping it would be a 2021 MY. But I got out of my F150 because of the problems I had (I actually liked the truck, except for the color and problems) and the fact I got at least $7,000 more on trade than I could have pre-COVID. There is so much to like about the RAM compared to the current competition, though. So I think instead of losing $2k right now and being happier for now, but maybe wanting to move into a RAM with the new UConnect or the Tundra in a year or year and a half, if I'm going to lose some value I'd rather do it later than now.
Still not 100% sure, but this is what I'm leaning. Next time I'll make sure the truck is exactly what I want, even if the deal isn't the absolute best.