Funny Memes and Funny Pictures 2.0

[wegasque]

 

[HemiDude]

View attachment 145796

This makes me laugh out loud every freakin' time I see it!

 

[grimreefer]

 

[grimreefer]

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[grimreefer]

 

[Kicker]

Pulled off a Facebook post.
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the
elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box
360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember
that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I
might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me
what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season
into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight
coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind
you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of
services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your
right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever
since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy
to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will
not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and
potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the
Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to
be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now
you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be
waiting for your fat *** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone,
and whatever else I want. WHATEVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on
one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees
you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake".
Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my
disposal. I got your **** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see
ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your
Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement.
You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib
to stomp a mud hole in you're *** and then walk it dry. Chew on that,
Petunia.
S Clizzy
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little bastard.
Santa

 

[grimreefer]

 

[Kicker]

 

[jimothy]

View attachment 146312

I asked my wife this, without showing her the picture, and she answered with zero hesitation, “You kill one of them.”

I think I’m going to have trouble sleeping at night!

 

[Threesuns1]

 

[Threesuns1]

 

[Threesuns1]

 

[Threesuns1]

 

[grimreefer]

 

[grimreefer]

 

[gofishn]

View attachment 146430

Our very 1st Christmas, as Newlyweds. I saved up and bought Sears nicest vacuum.
Cost almost a weeks take home pay.

Christmas morning, i am like a 8 yr old again. Cannot wait for her to open that gift.
She does, turns to me and CRIES, you bought me something for HOUSEWORK?!
Not only was she genuinely PISSED but she was going to let me know about,
in a manner I would NEVER forget.

So, before she could build heself up into a head of steam, I calmly told her:
I swear to you, you will never again be disappointed, with any gift, from me, ever again.
I got up and left the room.

That was almost 40 years ago and she has never again had to face that disappointment
because I ain't never bought another Anniversary, Birthday, Valentines day, Christmas ,
whatever the heck they got a hallmark card for type of event, gift since.

Valentines Day was the next event.
After Supper, it started to dawn on her.
She asked, outright, if I got her anything.
Nope.

Not even a Hallmark Card?
Nope. I do not lie.

I told you that I loved you & asked you to marry me.

I gave an Oath to Love, Honor and Cherish and I will until my dying day.
... and I will damn sure keep my word about pissing you off with a gift, that cost me, dearly, and you do not appreciate.

Buy what you want and I will do the same.
Try to 'hurt' me, with what you buy;
you will return it and start getting an allowance, for your own checking account.

Been almost 40 years, now, and we hardly ever fight, about anything.
Discuss, sure, but rarely argue.



Going to post that Meme to my Facebook page.
Thanks



PS

If you ask, nicely, will tell you the secret to never arguing.

 

[Fatherof3]

Our very 1st Christmas, as Newlyweds. I saved up and bought Sears nicest vacuum.
Cost almost a weeks take home pay.

Christmas morning, i am like a 8 yr old again. Cannot wait for her to open that gift.
She does, turns to me and CRIES, you bought me something for HOUSEWORK?!
Not only was she genuinely PISSED but she was going to let me know about,
in a manner I would NEVER forget.

So, before she could build heself up into a head of steam, I calmly told her:
I swear to you, you will never again be disappointed, with any gift, from me, ever again.
I got up and left the room.

That was almost 40 years ago and she has never again had to face that disappointment
because I ain't never bought another Anniversary, Birthday, Valentines day, Christmas ,
whatever the heck they got a hallmark card for type of event, gift since.

Valentines Day was the next event.
After Supper, it started to dawn on her.
She asked, outright, if I got her anything.
Nope.

Not even a Hallmark Card?
Nope. I do not lie.

I told you that I loved you & asked you to marry me.

I gave an Oath to Love, Honor and Cherish and I will until my dying day.
... and I will damn sure keep my word about pissing you off with a gift, that cost me, dearly, and you do not appreciate.

Buy what you want and I will do the same.
Try to 'hurt' me, with what you buy;
you will return it and start getting an allowance, for your own checking account.

Been almost 40 years, now, and we hardly ever fight, about anything.
Discuss, sure, but rarely argue.



Going to post that Meme to my Facebook page.
Thanks



PS

If you ask, nicely, will tell you the secret to never arguing.

I have that down pat “ yes dear “ lol

 

[wegasque]

 

[Threesuns1]